http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-33003958
I've mentioned it in previous posts but more the research is building up to point strongly to character and emotional resilience being better determiners of adult happiness/success (depending on which study, how you define the term, how you measure it and whether you link the two...) than intellectual ability.
It comes as no surprise that it isn't only academically clever people who are happy and successful. And yet we place an extraordinary emphasis on test performance, grade, spelling group, NC level.
It boils down to the fact that we can't measure character but we can measure levels - so to feel good about ourselves and our children we use external validation to check where we are against our peers.
Neil Gaiman is an exquisite writer, famous for his Sandman comic series, Coraline (you may have seen the film version directed by Henry Selick) and novels like Stardust. This may just be one of my favourite quotes of all time:
“I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing.” ~ Neil Gaiman
None of those vital life skills can be taught discretely with a powerpoint and a worksheet. They need a deep and contextual understanding of cause and effect, analysis, compassion, a sense of self-worth, decisiveness, humility. The twist is that schools shouldn't necessarily be responsible for instilling those values - only reinforcing them. It's hard to argue that those skills and traits shouldn't originate from home. The BBC article uses a great phrase - Caught not Taught. Sums it up perfectly. And you'll catch a whole lot more if someone is taking the time to throw balls at you.
Perhaps we've had a wake up call. The vital skills needed to navigate the fragile path of life have been brought sharply into focus and I have to try and teach the boys something that will prepare them to cope, succeed and enjoy whatever life throws at them.
