External Validation

So the 11+ is over, thank goodness.

I'd love to say it all turned out fine but I'm still bearing the emotional scars and I get a twitch when I think about it. K passed; he was over the moon and we were as amazed as we were delighted.

Why does it matter? He would achieve anywhere but like every child some environments make it easier than others. He's a smart, kind kid. He wants to please his teachers and is willing to work hard. He's a little awkward socially and takes time to build friendships which will be a challenge in any school but he'll overcome it. Passing gave him a wider choice of environments.

An unsettling thing about home-edding through the 11+ process was the lack of external validation. My check-and-measure-against-others security blanket evaporated when we left the playground.

I sat on my own late at night, coffee or wine in hand, trying to form plans and make arbitrary decisions on scant information. I scoured forums and trawled through council websites for guidance on exam format and the practicalities of how to book K in. I grasped desperately for tips and feedback from other mums and collared anyone foolish enough to pop in for a cup or tea or say hi on Facebook :

Which books did you buy? Is it all multiple choice? Should we pay for practice tests? Is tutoring a good idea? Is it worth the money? What are the percentage weightings by subject? Why are we putting our children through this? What might the pass mark be in raw marks? Which schools can we actually get in to? How many state kids pass? How hard is the official practice paper? Any exam tips?

I fretted about whether we were doing the right things, whether we'd started too late, whether we were doing enough in the first place and how hard to push (or not push). Trying to plan, teach, support and assess solo is hard and error-filled. The first book I bought for K to complete at the start of the summer turned out to be for the wrong exam and he had completed it before I realised my mistake. In a state of panic and shame, having wasted weeks on the wrong material, I didn't own up to anyone - I swallowed my guilt, bought the correct books and soldiered on.

I've spent time wondering how and if the home school decision impacted the 11+ outcome. At the end of year 2 K looked like a fair bet for a pass back in the days of assessment levels and progress predictions. By the time we left in year 4, he had lost academic ground and confidence in himself. Any feedback on his ability in relation to the 11+ was described as 'borderline' at best.

K has made brilliant progress in the past 19 months with his mental maths and problem solving skills and for that I'm taking HE credit as we went back to basics and played catch up. He's not a natural with numbers but it doesn't feel like wading through treacle any more. His literacy has been solid as he's an avid reader. The biggest change has been in his self-confidence : he's thrown himself into opportunities and his independence and maturity have blossomed as he's grown. Maybe that would have happened anyway.

As a structured, curriculum-based HE family it's natural to look for objective measures of progress - am I leaving gaps which will come back to bite later? Will I send the kids back to school and be called in the next week to explain to the headteacher why my sons have such glaring educational gaps / appalling social skills / terrible handwriting / no ability to speak French / all of the above? Put against the back drop of comments from acquaintances like : 'Aren't you worried he'll fall behind?' and 'But what about socialisation?' you're only human if you doubt yourself every now and then. Or daily.

Because of his interests and exacerbated by home school, K doesn't get external validation either. Normally kids get a metaphorical or literal pat-on-the-back from getting a part in the school play or being picked for the sports team or passing music exams or earning badges from Scouts. K's esteem relies on his own sense of self-worth and I'd be lying if I didn't admit that the 11+ result gave him a much needed boost. We were proud of him irrespective of the outcome of some arbitrary, divisive test, but seeing him feel genuinely proud of himself was utterly heart warming.

Still, I'm glad it's over. Until W's turn in Sept 2018....


In case the 11+ is like childbirth and becomes a hazy memory, I'm recording for my sanity :

Things that were helpful for us 

• 10 minute tests
• Reading every day
• Small rewards that built up for effort (not results)
• Doing a little work every day
• Not thinking/talking about it until the July prior
• Exercise (for stress busting)
• Putting a massive 'we're proud of you' poster in his bedroom for the summer
• Doing 1 practice test in July for a 'start point' to find any glaring coverage issues
• Teaching to the gaps to begin with - going back to basics to teach topics, not answer tricks
• Finding out how bloody difficult it was to find the right car park on practice day
• Buying really good quality pencils and a lucky eraser
• Doing 2 practice tests a couple of weeks before to check exam technique
• Packing an awesome good-luck-themed snack for in between the exams
• Wine

Things that were not helpful for us

• Crying
• Comparing kids
• Suggestions of big rewards for hard work
• Nagging
• Hearing about opinions of schools instead of facts about schools
• Stressing about speed early on in the summer
• Getting angry
• Hearing how much work other mums/kids were doing
• Swearing (a lot) in front of eldest when I couldn't find the car park on practice day and then having to apologise (a lot)
• Discussing tutoring with anyone - always left with a residual feeling of guilt that we didn't have a tutor, shock at the cost, or both
• Losing the plot on a weekly basis
• Stressing about low marks instead of actually working out where the weak spots were
• Exam tips
• Neglecting younger siblings
• Panicing on the big day and forgetting to checklist the important points (make every mark count, guess ones you don't know, if you get stuck - guess and move on)
• Running out of wine

There's the Click

Active learning is a beautiful thing.

It happens whenever someone is engaged, interested and challenged. The holy grail of active learning is when it's self-driven - where no-one else dictated or controlled the activity. There's plenty of talk of spontaneous learning, where the stars align and suddenly - bang - there's a magical moment where a child just starts learning. How can I get this magic?

Being spontaneous takes planning. We spontaneously made a rope swing to entertain ourselves at a youth hostel last month - because I keep a rope in the car for emergency rope swing adventures (or towing).

You can spontaneously stop at a National Trust place to paddle in the river if you have already remembered to put your membership card, spare clothes and a towel in the car.

You can spontaneously do science experiments if you have food colouring, candles, bicarb, tums, sand, etc... in the cupboard.

You can spontaneously do art if you picked up air drying clay and acrylic paints last time you went past HobbyCraft.

You get the idea. Spontaneity is an illusion but I do embrace self-driven learning. As my confidence continues to grow so does my comfort level with flexibility. For two mornings this week I've stood back and let the boys get on with it, to see what they'd do. It was enlightening.

Day 1
The boys found a box of balloons and started blowing them up and letting them go. W googled balloon hacks on YouTube and they tried experiment after experiment : the fire-proof balloon was a favourite, as was the static water-bending trick. They added coins to the balloons and span them.

They filled them with water - but had to solve the issue of how to get the water in. Attaching to the tap resulted in split balloons and a large puddle in the kitchen. A revised system with a plastic bottle worked quite well but so did taking a mouthful of water and just blowing. When they had enough of being soaked they filled the balloons with rice to make stress balls.

I found a bag of balloon modelling balloons and dogs, hats, giraffes and a snake followed as they read the instructions for a dog and then went freestyle. They decorated some with sharpies.

Time spent : 4 hours. Intervention : virtually zero (I had to get towels for the floor and I dug out the modelling balloons)

Day 2 
The boys decide to start W's stamp collection. The boys read and followed the instructions for how to add stamps to an album, categorised some of the stamps, asked their Nana for more stamps, soaked them off the envelopes and dried them. One stamp was for 500 Zimbabwean dollars so thinking they'd hit the big time, checked how much it was worth in GBP. A disappointing £1.10 - however K added to the value of the other UK stamps and was delighted to find it totalled over £13.

After stamps they decided to do some Reading Eggspress challenges and did comprehensions to earn animal cards and then traded them, with a discussion about which category of animal they were each collecting. The peacock was listed in flying birds and W wasn't sure peacocks could fly so he looked up a video to check they could.

They moved on to HomeByMe and worked on their houses, W made a pod house with all amenities based on a tiny footprint. K worked on the interior design of his office.

Time spent : 5 hours. Intervention : Zero, except for being a willing audience as they showed me what they had created and how to do the stamps.

So what's the formula for engaged, interested children? Luck is a big part of it. They had slept well, eaten a good breakfast and were in a chipper mood. We've had a good week. This keeps brotherly bickering to a minimum and created an atmosphere conducive to getting on with stuff. Rules are vital. If there wasn't a rule that we don't play computer games til the end of our school day then I'd have been reporting 5 hours of Minecraft or CrossyRoad. Environment helps. The kitchen was (relatively) tidy for a change and I'd shuffled some activities they might have forgotten about into sight - like how the supermarket guys rotate the fruit so the oldest is at the front.

There's a knack too, to intervening and directing just a few moments before everything descends into chaos. The active learning utopia has a limited shelf life; being self-driven is tiring and after a while you need someone else to take the reins, or provide snacks, or both. Balance is the key; both days we did formal literacy and maths after lunch.

Most of the discussions I read about this type of spontaneous/ free/ self-driven learning are play based and sadly that tends to mean the discussion is restricted to the under 5s. What a shame. Play, at any age, presents some of the best opportunities for analysis, planning, resilience, creativity and team work.

When learning is deep, relevant and active you can't tell where play stops and learning begins.

Do as I Say, Not as I Do

The theme for our family this year has been bravery.

Facing up to fears. Carrying on. Grabbing opportunities. Carpe diem with bells on.

I push the boys to take risks but I'm a hypocrite : I play it safe. I hide under a duvet when it gets too much; I still get occasional bouts of anxiety around loud noises, crowds and heights. I'll happily watch and shout encouragement as the boys try new things but resist throwing myself in. I'm in a perpetual state of defcon 1 - I'm not just ready for if the sky falls down, I'm expecting it imminently.

Small steps were needed to reduce my alert state to something resembling normal. I'd accept a 3. I need to set a better example for the boys.

I played with the boys at the park instead of sitting on the bench. You haven't lived until you have to gets your kids to slide after you to 'give you a bit of a push' because your behind is too generous for the slide. I put my fingers in the shrimp tank at SeaLife and let the creepy little things nibble my nails. I joined in a session with the boys at Rush and even managed a front flip without permanent neck damage - it was a close run thing. I dropped myself down the vertical slide at the zoo (and swore I would never do it again). I let the lady at the reptile place hold a tarantula that shoots poisonous hairs from its body when it's angry right next to my face. I still hate spiders but at least Rosy was having a happy day. I took the dog for a walk with S and the boys instead of washing up, even though it was cold, dark and muddy in the woods.

Wow, what a go-getter. With minor successes under my belt I had to up the ante: time for a tandem skydive.

I am not a fan of heights and I have issues relinquishing control. I'm told that when coming round from a general anesthetic it took 4 nurses to hold me down as I was hell bent on getting up and off the bed.

However, a day on my own at an airfield with nothing to do but drink tea and read a book before being strapped to an action man sounded like a dream come true. Count me in.

15000 feet, 125mph with a full minute of free fall. It was, literally, awesome.

Next on my list is driving a segway, throwing a pot and swimming with sting rays. Plans are afoot for the first two. I haven't worked out how I'm going to make that last one happen but it doesn't sound like something I'd do, or ever have dreamed of doing, so I had better find a way to do it.

Day seized.

http://www.goskydive.com/

Acids and Bases

I fancied a science lesson and we had an opener : a boy at PGL said that water was more acidic than Coca Cola.

Didn't sound likely to me but the boys were insistent. The boy imparting this factoid was at least 12 years old and therefore probably a genius with very bad teeth; certainly cleverer than me as I am a mum and therefore know nothing. Apparently.

Insults aside I decided they could prove it to themselves. Theory was the place to start - we talked through characteristics of acids, bases and what the pH scale is. We briefly looked at hydrogen ions but I lost W so it was time to get practical and we followed the Stanford Uni experiment (link below).

I pre-made the cabbage water and the kitchen smelt horrendous; then we assembled a bunch of household objects :

• Bicarbonate of soda (dissolved in water)
• Distilled water
• Cola
• Lemon juice
• Apple juice
• Vinegar
• Bleach
• Shampoo
• Anti-bac hand gel

The boys predicted whether each liquid was going to be acidic or alkaline based on their characteristics (sliminess / bitterness / sourness). The boys tasted the lemon juice and bicarb just for my own entertainment. "Can we pleeease drink the Coke?" Only if it turns out to be less acidic than water.

With our cabbage water ready we started adding our various liquids, comparing the colour of the cabbage water to our chart to see what the approximate pH was and writing up our results as we went.

We got a really fantastic range of colours and the bleach finally overrode the kitchen cabbage smell which was a relief for everyone.

Most importantly we did indeed prove the hypothesis, that mum is always right Coke is worse for your teeth than water.


If you've got your own science lab the BBC has the experiment nicely explained here:
http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/schools/teachers/bang/bang_tp_red_cabbage_indicator.pdf

If you're a kitchen table scientist then take a look at this brilliant PDF from Stanford Uni:
http://web.stanford.edu/~ajspakow/downloads/outreach/ph-student-9-30-09.pdf

Autumn Craft

When there are hundreds of thousands of leaves falling into your garden it's a necessity find ways to reduce the pile. I thought I had it made - we can use some for craft, I thought.

Then discovered that apparently our leaves aren't good enough and the boys instead gathered a bag-full from the woods while walking the dog. Back-fire.

Three lovely little projects were born : leaf hedgehogs, clay leaf bowl and coaster, terrarium.

Birthday Zoo Trip

It's our last chance to take advantage of being able to celebrate birthdays on the actual day so we headed to the zoo - W's favourite place to be!

As usual for a weekday in winter there's hardly anyone there. We have the place more or less to ourselves and the animals act pleased to see you. I nearly left with a marmoset.

Birthday cake, monkeys, lorikeets, goats and boats and more. A perfect family day.

.. and by the end of the day we felt as worn out as this lemur!

Building Blocks

Simple things used to explore more complicated concepts.

Jenga blocks and wooden dominos are endlessly useful. In their usual form, you can explore structure, strength and stability. Making domino rallies helps with angles, design and the knock-on-effect of actions and energy transfer.

If you're feeling creative, there are loads of write-on-the-block ideas:

• sums (colour code by difficulty)
• emotions
• questions/conversation starters
• music notes (build a tune)
• word types (noun, adjective, verb etc)
• story ideas (build a story) 
• spellings (write a word on all 4 faces, 3 incorrect and 1 correct)

Stone Age

The stone age has been a fantastic topic; we took about 4 weeks over it, using it as a running thread through various activities.

I've been too busy to blog properly for the last month or so so I'll cheat with visuals, a resource list and a question-based structure to show our working ...

History : How long was the stone age and what are the Neolithic, Paleolithic and Mesolithic periods?
How does life now differ from stone age life? Where did people live, how did they cook, sleep, hunt? English : Compehension on Skara Brae.

 

Literacy : Stone Age Boy + The Secrets of Stonehenge.

RE & DT : Where is Stonehenge and what is a henge? How was it built, over what period and why? Who might be buried there? Where did the stones come from and how might they have been moved? What clues were found to indicate the original purpose? Did the purpose change over time? Why do people worship there today?

Art : Making natural dyes with herbs/spices/berries, using charcol for drawing, stone age cave paintings.

Resources:
History timeline
Twinkl stone age resources, incl making a paper model of Stonehenge
Comprehension on Skara Brae
Horrible Histories clips
Field trip to Stonehenge

Day of the Dead

I made a parenting mistake when I downloaded a Radio 4 drama for a long car trip - it turned out to be thoroughly scary. I blame the top quality acting.

K was quite ruffled and while we love a bit of Hallowe'en silliness, I wanted to find a more positive angle to stop him dwelling on ghosts, poltergeists and things that go bump in the night.

We did Diwali last year so Day of the Dead was the perfect topic for this season. My talented friend wrote a book about a skeleton so we timed reading it to coincide with the festival and then looked at the science of bones.

Kicking off with some geography we located Mexico and watched the beautiful Literacy Shed videos on the topic; a perfect link to death without ghoulishness. Fantastic follow up discussion too :
http://www.literacyshed.com/day-of-the-dead.html

Using a My Body book we investigated skeletons and considered what we'd look like without bones. We talked bones, bone marrow and what happens if you break a bone.

Finally we made some split-pin moving skeletons (Twinkl template), just for fun!