Facing up to fears. Carrying on. Grabbing opportunities. Carpe diem with bells on.
I push the boys to take risks but I'm a hypocrite : I play it safe. I hide under a duvet when it gets too much; I still get occasional bouts of anxiety around loud noises, crowds and heights. I'll happily watch and shout encouragement as the boys try new things but resist throwing myself in. I'm in a perpetual state of defcon 1 - I'm not just ready for if the sky falls down, I'm expecting it imminently.
Small steps were needed to reduce my alert state to something resembling normal. I'd accept a 3. I need to set a better example for the boys.
I played with the boys at the park instead of sitting on the bench. You haven't lived until you have to gets your kids to slide after you to 'give you a bit of a push' because your behind is too generous for the slide. I put my fingers in the shrimp tank at SeaLife and let the creepy little things nibble my nails. I joined in a session with the boys at Rush and even managed a front flip without permanent neck damage - it was a close run thing. I dropped myself down the vertical slide at the zoo (and swore I would never do it again). I let the lady at the reptile place hold a tarantula that shoots poisonous hairs from its body when it's angry right next to my face. I still hate spiders but at least Rosy was having a happy day. I took the dog for a walk with S and the boys instead of washing up, even though it was cold, dark and muddy in the woods.
Wow, what a go-getter. With minor successes under my belt I had to up the ante: time for a tandem skydive.
I am not a fan of heights and I have issues relinquishing control. I'm told that when coming round from a general anesthetic it took 4 nurses to hold me down as I was hell bent on getting up and off the bed.
However, a day on my own at an airfield with nothing to do but drink tea and read a book before being strapped to an action man sounded like a dream come true. Count me in.
15000 feet, 125mph with a full minute of free fall. It was, literally, awesome.
Next on my list is driving a segway, throwing a pot and swimming with sting rays. Plans are afoot for the first two. I haven't worked out how I'm going to make that last one happen but it doesn't sound like something I'd do, or ever have dreamed of doing, so I had better find a way to do it.
Day seized.
