A bad day yesterday doesn't mean a bad day today : we start fresh, the past is past (thanks mindfulness app). K asks if I want a cuddle. I don't need asking twice.
Lots of parents wish they could spend more time with their children at this age; I'm in the unusual position of spending almost every waking hour with mine. It's a blessing and a curse.
First out, I like my kids. I know they're random and a bit awkward socially and they sometimes don't listen and they wind each other up but they're also kind and funny and interesting and independent and brave.
Loving them is easy but it's not a given that you'll actually like your children. Traits that are completely adorable in me are downright irritating when W demonstrates them. That analysis and overthinking which make my husband successful at work - it hinders K and I get frustrated with him. We've been lucky that the boys got a very equitable split in the personality-gene-department so I get equally annoyed by both of them. It's good to be fair.
There are particular quirks with spending so much time together, foremost that my roles get muddled. I'm a teacher, housekeeper, mum and colleague. Using physical spaces to define and segregate our day and my role isn't something I considered before we started EHE but, even in our open plan set up, it can help mark distinctions.
When we're at our desks we're in work mode and I have my teacher hat on. The kitchen table doubles up - at mealtimes it's family time, it's a desk when we're working. The sofa is for snuggling and chatting with Mum hat firmly on head. I don't feel bad escaping to spend 10 minutes reading in my bedroom where I'm just boring old me and it's good for everyone.
Spending time together helps you to get to know who your children are; watching them learn gives you an insight into how their minds work. I love the moments when they give me an answer lightning fast, tell me their own way of working something out or show me something they've made or found.
Whatever our future holds I am grateful I've had the chance to do this. If I can survive another year and still like the kids, we'll call it a success.
