Enough Time?

An interesting article on time spent learning in school :

https://monkeymum29.wordpress.com/2015/09/13/time-is-precious/

The conclusion is, that for HE to have a learning time equal to that in mainstream school, it will take 100 minutes every day of term. If you work on a 365 basis it's 51 minutes per day.

The Trouble With Coasting

We are gradually realising that W doesn't get challenged enough.

He expects to pick things up without listening to instruction and when he doesn't get a concept in the first 5 seconds he is prone to melting down, going to dramatic lengths to brand the whole exercise completely impossible and stupid.

When he was much smaller and trying to get a t-shirt on, he struggled, descended into floods of tears and declared that now he'd have to eat his arm. It's become a family catch phrase for anything tricky.
"I can't get this jam lid off."
"You'll have to eat your arm."

Once he's actually overcome the difficulties and mastered a task he instantly transforms back into his usual, rational self. And he'll never ask for help with it again. Because it's easy now. Obviously.

I'm planning challenging situations and tough work. It's going to be a tricky couple of weeks. But who will eat their arm first?

Social Animal

Since we went HE K has progressed leaps and bounds in terms of his willingness to interact with people he meets along the way. Only a few months ago, there was no natural interaction with unknown children or adults when we went on outings. He always needed encouragement.

It's a whole different world now. I see blossoming.

At swimming, K made friends with a slightly older girl and played catch for ages. At Crocodile World he was chuffed to bits when a boy he has seen at free running called him the Parkour Master, and he played with a big group of mixed age boys at the playground.

Another swimming outing and K politely explained to a dad that his child has pinched his swimming toy. At Jump In, two of the jump crew lads started a game of dodgeball with K&W, just for kicks - they had a ball (literally). At Explore Learning I was telling one of the tutors about the joys of Jump In and K asked if he could tell the story. At parkour he asked the instructor whether he would spot his backflip after the lesson and got the answer 'yes', it made his day.

He'll talk to adults and children and expect to be heard. He knows he can handle himself and explain himself (in his careful, quiet way!) in any situation. It might not be a big deal for lots of children but for K it's epic and I couldn't be prouder.

Sunday Night Forced Fun

We should not have opted for chess. It was late, everyone was tired, we hadn't had dinner.

It became clear that not one of us is competent enough to ensure a fun family game in a reasonable time frame.

I printed out a Dummies Guide for each team but we still had to keep googling the more complex rules - eg: when pawns reach the far side of the board what can they be promoted to? I've never heard of the En Passant rule either; I'm convinced W & I would have been triumphant if we'd known about it earlier...

Anyway, we gave it our best shot, and ended up with S & K's white queen + king chasing our black king around the board with all other pieces captured. After 20 minutes of W & I gallantly evading capture, one gruelling space at a time, we called it a day. There may be an official name for it (stale mate?) but we'll just call it Boredom 1, Chess 0.

We were young (OK, not that young), we were crazy. We were riding high on an amazing week and a fantastic afternoon swimming. We took on too much, too soon - we reached for the stars and got stuck about half way up a ladder.

Speaking of which, we'll be back to snakes and ladders next Sunday.

A Long Road

I'm gradually feeling my way around the HE network. We're a diverse bunch.

The only thing that HE families have in common is that they home ed some or all of their children. Religion, philosophy, beliefs, teaching (or deschooling) style, parenting - vary across the whole spectrum.

The variety is part of the fun of HE. Whenever you feel weird, are judged or have to defend your decision to a stranger, it's reassuring to know that there are other people being more radical. (But probably handling it better).

I was speaking to a wise mum recently who has been home-edding for many years. Her children are a delight; polite, confident, kind - kids like hers do more to big-up HE than any parent banging on about individual learning and freedom. She confessed it took years to feel comfortable with her family's decision. It's hard enough to trust your own judgement when there's no measure of success. It's even harder not to care what other people think, especially people you respect.

We're lucky that our friends and family are broadly (cautiously) supportive. Perhaps because they've been there every step of the way as we've deconstructed our life from high earning, exhausted corporate cogs to .. well I'm not sure what we are but we're out of the machine and we're still exhausted, just happier. They know we're not afraid to take control, to have less, to change direction or admit when we've taken a wrong turn. To say I'm grateful for the support would be a huge understatement; it's a lifeline.

The biggest anxiety is still the responsibility. Another HE friend explained that the fear for her is having no security blanket - no school, teachers, bullies, classmates to share the blame if things go wrong - if test scores are low, detentions are issued, friendships change.

If you home ed there's nowhere to hide. You only have two options: 1. Take full responsibility for any problems that arise and beat your self up until you can't stand. 2. Remember that things go awry because this is real life.

There is no destination, just a journey.

So let's make jelly sculptures.

Weekly Roundup

There's not a lot of Home in our Home Ed at the moment. So many outings and classes I'm clocking up miles on the car. It feels like a typical HE week - the plan lies in tatters but we headed off on some interesting tangents.

It started tough - the back to school facebook photo frenzy causing ripples of self-doubt, a major not-back-to-school wobble wondering if I'd planned enough and whether I had all my resources in place.

Worries unfounded; it's been a productive, eye-opening week. Here's how it looked.

Monday
30 mins of maths.

K then focussed on averages and did some online games while W did 'ou' spellings from his literacy book.

Learnt about cloud types and names with some great Twinkl resources and MET office printouts.

Walked the dog - climbed trees, threw sticks and cloud spotted.

Tuesday
30 mins of maths.
K did prepositions and pronouns while W did apostrophes. Backed up with some Bitesize games.
2 hour specialist parkour class for K while W did Explore Learning.
Sums challenge (quick fire multiplication and division to colour the blocks to reveal a Minecraft picture)

Wednesday
30 mins of maths.

Outing to Crocodile World. We did a school class on habitats; the lovely expert also let the kids hold a python and stroke a baby alligator. Absorbed loads of info on crocodiles, alligators and caiman and met a massive tortoise.

Thursday
Outward bound day (1 of 2) - archery, climbing, canoeing.
Major wins: meeting some fabulous HE families with kids the same age, I learnt a lot from them. W having a serious wobble about climbing but with a little encouragement from the instructor he pulled it together and kept going. K making a new friend in the first 2 minutes of arriving. Awesome.
After canoeing the instructors let the boys jump into the lake from the jetty. Next week is caving, sailing and bushcraft - we can't wait.

Friday
Making a movie with stills and audio in Movie Maker.
Sending an email with an attachment to Daddy - basic email etiquette, proof reading.
30 mins of maths.
Writing a postcard to Ralf in Germany (from Post Crossing) - remembering captial letters and full stops.
Handwriting improvement - workbook, getting those js to sit right!
Introduction to chess.
Confidence class with a behaviour consultant.
K headed to free running to practice back flips while W had some Daddy time.
Rounded out the week snuggled on the sofa for a family movie.

Reluctant Reader

W is my reluctant reader. It's not that he can't but if something doesn't have a definite purpose he'll skip it, thanks all the same.

It's an ongoing challenge to find opportunities for him to experience reading for pleasure. Sometimes it happens spontaneously and I am delighted - like when he discovered a Simpson's comic in a waiting room. He didn't want to leave! 

Here are more ideas for reluctant readers :

1. Making a snuggly reading space with cushions, blankets and toys who love to hear stories.

2. Treasure hunts - reading a clue to get to a prize is very motivating!

3. Your page / my page - W would get disheartened by how long a story would take so we do a page each.

4. Reading together (literally). The sound of my voice helps model expression, encourages W to use a louder voice and gives a starting sound to any tricky words.

5. Sign up to the summer reading challenge at the library.

6. Non-fiction is your friend - fact books or strategy books on topics that W finds interesting are a winner.

7. Embrace younger books. W has a board book that he bought with his pocket money in reception and he loves to read it, even though it has about 20 words. As a reading experience it's pure joy and reading easy material has a profound effect on confidence.

8. Screen reading is fine. Games, instructions, articles, news - it is still reading. It doesn't replace the quiet joy of a book in the sunshine but it does count.

9. Write your own. Staple paper together, get the kids to do the illustrations and write or type the story they dictate - it could be something that actually happened or imaginary. It's so cool to read a story about yourself. Be crafty and include vocab from their spelling lists.

10. Remember it's the skills not the literary prowess. Whatever W is reading he'll still get the key skills of absorbing, analysis and understanding. I read novels and biographies. S reads guides and articles. We're both prolific readers but we enjoy different things.

Free Will. Or - I Want the Rainbow Glasses

When the boys were tiny I started giving them choices. Red t-shirt or yellow? Mister Maker or Thomas? Peas or broccoli? One biscuit or two? Slide or swing?

It's pseudo-choice because the available choices were set by the grown ups; it can't be a free for all, they're only (mini)humans after all... 

Choosing is a vital life skill. Having choice is to have power over a decision. Power over a decision leads to feelings of being in control. Feelings of control lead to feelings of being empowered. Being empowered leads to good self-esteem and a strong sense of individual identity. Happy days.

Let's hop to last week. We're in the opticians. It's new glasses time and I've always (smugly) taken the approach of letting the boys have free choice on the frames because, well, they have to wear them and I mean how bad can any pair of glasses be?

K struggles a little with confidence. Internally, he's a pretty tough cookie but in the big wide world of new situations he presents as uncertain. He cares what people think but he's no sheep; he won't be persuaded to do anything he's not happy about.... and he knows what he likes.

What he likes is bright. He's the boy equivalent of a magpie. If it's shiny, big, colourful or brash he loves it.

I don't spot them in time to sneakily remove them from the display and hide them. K's eyes light up. "Those ones" he points.

Quandary. 

They are multi-coloured glasses. They are truly horrible.

He tries them on. They are still truly horrible. He loves them.

I get him to try on 10 other pairs. He still loves the rainbow specs.

I frantically signal to the optician to help me out because I'm the one paying. She is a super-star (or super villain depending on your position) and tells K that unfortunately they're just not the right fit for him.

We compromise on K's second choice, a sky blue pair. They're still from the Elton John range but more of an everyday pair than a Saturday night pair.

So I offered pseudo choice. I'm not proud of it, but on this occasion Mama Bear won over Democracy.

P.S. W chose a leopard print pair. I suppose eyesight and fashion sense are both genetic.

For some interesting links to studies on how choice in education impacts students, see :  http://www.alfiekohn.org/article/choices-children/

Feeling Lucky

It's only 10.30am and already it's been an emotional day.

I saw children on their way to our old school this morning and found it incredibly hard. Are we doing the right thing? Are the boys missing out? Is this really happening? It was easy to finish off last year HE. It's much harder to start a new year HE and I wasn't expecting that. I miss seeing other mums and catching up on summer holiday adventures over coffee.

I asked the boys how they felt. "Fine, Mummy" was the reply with a pair of shrugs - they tell me they are not bothered about going into a new class or meeting a new teacher. They're just excited to be in a new year and W desperately wants to know if he's now tall enough to go without a car seat ("Keep eating your vegetables darling..")

On the way to their art lesson K said he feels his luck has changed. "How so?" I ask. In his typical chatty fashion he gives me a long winded reply but the gist is this : He always felt unlucky - like he'd never be picked or never get the things he wanted. Lately though he feels lucky; he said he hopes for the best and quite often it happens.

I could cry for fear and indecision; holding the weight of the responsibility for the two most precious things in my life. I know why we're doing this. I know to trust my instinct. I know I can do it.

But there's no external measure for success. Whether it was the right thing or not will never be proven; you'll never know what might have happened if you'd done things differently.

That's the scary thing. We can only look at where we are now, what we have now, who we are now and base our decisions on that.

I'm trying not to put too much pressure on myself. Small wins are still wins.

And today, we feel lucky.